Monday 6 November 2017

A FIRM FOUNDATION

On the 10th of November, 2017, Ken and I will celebrate 70 years of marriage.  We had a big celebration on our 40th anniversary and another on our 50th.  Sadly, most of those who attended either occasion have now passed on. This year will just be a quiet time of reflecting on the years we have shared together.

I often think of how simple our wedding was.  For some reason, I decided I did not want to bother with a fancy white wedding dress.  I chose a simple pale blue knee-length dress which sounded far more elegant when described by the social editor of the newspaper (who lived across the street from my parents).  "A hyacinth blue crepe frock styled in the new long length with draped front, capped sleeves and braided cutwork".  My two bridesmaids also wore knee-length dresses, rose-coloured. 


Ken and I were married under a beautiful arch decorated by his mother with flowers from their amazing garden. 

One of the highlights of our wedding was having Ken's 86 year old rosy-cheeked white-haired grandmother join us from Britain, her first time on a plane or out of the country. She was all lavender and old lace and had raised twelve children.



We arranged to have photos taken by a 'proper' photographer but at the last minute made the (regretted) decision to have a 'street' photographer take candid photos at the reception.  Big mistake.

When I compare the cost of most of today's weddings and honeymoons to ours, I marvel at the difference.  For instance, our honeymoon consisted of taking the romantic midnight ferry from Victoria to Vancouver (a voyage we had dreamed about taking together) where we boarded a Trailways bus for a 36 hour trip destined for Hollywood, California.  We sat up the whole way and were the talk of the bus, with many of our fellow passengers making gentle fun of us if Ken and I were late in re-boarding at some of the stops enroute.  "Wait for the honeymooners!!!" 

So many of today's young couples spend thousands of dollars on their weddings and then divorce within a few years.

From the time we were engaged,


Ken and I had a common goal - to build our own home. The first two years after our marriage in November 1947, we lived with my parents, sleeping in the living room of their home.  We purchased four lots from the municipality of Saanich for $600 (borrowed from Ken's dad).  Not owning a car, we rode our bicycles to our new property every day after work, still dressed in our work clothes (no special riding attire like the serious cyclists of today).  Here is a photo of Ken riding on the roof of our house...it took a lot of back-breaking work to get to the point where we had a roof to ride on!

We worked extremely hard, clearing  the land of 150 scrub oaks and what seemed like acres of snowberry bush.  World War II had only recently ended and lumber was very difficult to obtain.  Ken had to go to Youbou (near Duncan on Vancouver Island) to purchase rough floor joists which he then either whittled down or built up - whatever was required. Believe it or not, nails were also at a premium but we managed to get some from Shawnigan Lumber.  We decided to build our house from concrete blocks.  I can't remember if there was such a thing as 'ready-mix' in those days - we were mixing our own cement in a cement mixer.  Half-way through the project, we ran out of sand.  A kind-hearted neighbor who lived DOWN the hill from us offered us sand left over from one of his projects.  Obtaining this sand entailed numerous trips up and down the hill pushing a heavily loaded wheelbarrow.  My job was to tamp down the end result.



A house built of concrete blocks presented a challenge when it came to wiring.  We hired a struggling new electrical firm and Ken helped the electrician by dropping string down the cores of the blocks to indicate where we wanted to have outlets.  I recently found our bill for wiring the whole house - $350!

During these two years, I worked in an insurance company and Ken worked the night shift at the Post Office.  Most of his buddies had served in the war like Ken and they all shared a special bond.  Many of them also road their bikes to and from work, were also building their own homes and they all helped each other.  Many of them were on hand when Ken hid a time capsule in one of the concrete blocks of our home.  (Well-hidden - we have NO idea where it is...)

Building a house is like building a marriage - requires perseverance, and in our case, has been never ending! We decided to add a second floor during the 1960's.  Even though we hired a company to do most of the work, it had its own challenges, not the least of which was a steady parade of workmen through the house.


There are lots of things wrong with our house, but we built it together and every room tells a story.  Ken made special valances for the windows of each room, a built-in bathroom vanity and a kitchen nook.  Over the years we developed the backyard into a lovely oasis.

Before:

And after:



 As we enter the seventieth year of our marriage, we recognize that life has been good to us.  We have a kind, thoughtful, caring daughter, a caring, loving son and special daughter-in-law, three loving grandchildren and six great grandchildren.

We spent much of our married life building and strengthening our home.  I truly believe that all the hard physical work and sacrifice strengthened our marriage as well.  It has been a wonderful 70 years.