My Baby Boy

My baby boy, Mark, will be sixty years old on April 30th, 2014.  When he was born, I couldn't believe he weighed nine pounds.  His 'big' sister, Terry, was only six pounds and nine ounces when she was born. Mark was a placid baby - it still takes a lot to rile him.

When he was a teenager, I recall asking him to mow the grass for his dad and trim around the edges of the many oak trees on our property. He eventually got around to mowing the lawns but when a pal drifted by on his motorbike - off they went together - trees left untouched!

Many years later, himself a homeowner, it was a different story.  His grass was always neatly cut and edges trimmed. He even dug up some threatening dandelions from a neighbor's boulevard (although I suspect Carol was involved in that project).

Speaking of trimming - I used to trim his hair until he began to object - a bribe of ten cents allowed me to complete the task.  I remember when he returned from a trip to Britain with the Kitsilano Boys Band - he looked like one of the Beatles...

Now where has all that hair gone?

Mark was a very loving child - as a little guy he often hugged me with great abandon. 

And he loved to dress up and go out with his family.

Only a few years later when we gathered to see him off to march with his school band in the Victoria Day parade he was most embarrassed simply by our presence...

Many years later, however, he seemed proud to take his mother out for Mother's Day brunch atop the Chateau Victoria, and several years after that he sent me a birthday card which he made from a copy of the picture taken of the two of us together on his wedding day.  

Inside was the loveliest note from him which I treasure:

He is a wonderful son and we are so proud of him and his growing family.  

I like to feel we had a hand in shaping and preparing him for the man he has become and we are pleased he has grounded himself with his newly found faith and thus grown closer to his sister.

Happy Birthday to My Baby Boy!

Dear Gentle Readers

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Our House

In 2007, Ken's cousin, well-known local author Valerie Green, wrote a lovely article about our home and the many connections we have made over the years.  Thought you might enjoy it - Ken and I certainly did!

Close Connections - The Girl Next Door

I think it was around 1996 that we first met Kelly. She was renting the suite next door, where daughter Terry now lives, while attending the University of Victoria.

Kelly had recently moved from Ontario and was extremely homesick.  I took her under my wing (or should I say 'our wings'?) and often had her over for tea and talks.  I think she used our phone a few times to call her parents.

I can recall one time when she was working on a project which involved researching some articles and pictures from old magazines.  As we happened to have magazines dating back to the 1950's in our attic, she spent hours perusing them for information.  I can see her now, kneeling on the floor upstairs, surrounded by dusty magazines, the sun streaming in the window on her back.  Meanwhile I was downstairs plugging in the kettle to make tea for us.

All our neighbours were invited to our 50th wedding anniversary and Kelly was included in the invite.

Time passed, Kelly graduated and returned to Ontario.

We keep in touch every Christmas.  She has achieved her goal of becoming a pre-school speech and language therapist and married a wonderful young man named Pat. They now have a little daughter and new baby son.  She writes me detailed letters about how their life is unfolding and I am keeping those letters for her future.

I am so glad we opened our home and our hearts to the girl next door when she most needed it.  In return, this close connection has enriched our lives.

Close Connections - Another Chapter

It was in 1993, when Ken was promoting his first book, 'Dear Mum', that we met Louisa.  She was part of the audience at our central library listening to a spiel by Ken.  The following day she phoned him to request a copy of the book for her brother.  Could she cycle out to our house and pick it up?

We liked her immediately.  Louisa had just moved to Victoria from Vancouver and didn't know a soul.  She was an avid reader and we were soon discussing books over a cup of tea.  I ended up lending her books from our vast supply and thus began a deep friendship which has lasted twenty-one years (and counting).

Louisa met a young Japanese fellow and they fell in love. His parents came to Victoria on a visit from Japan and we drove them around the city while Hideo (Louisa's fellow) explained everything to them in Japanese.  It was a fun day and when we parted company in Beacon Hill Park there was a great deal of bowing and hugging.

Louisa and Hideo married and settled in Vancouver where he is an established acupuncturist.  They had a baby girl, Emma, and we stayed in touch.  I kept every letter Louisa wrote to us as they contained so much detail I thought I should save them for Emma to enjoy one day.

Hideo, Louisa and Emma in the teahouse Hideo built in their backyard.

 In her Christmas letter of 2013, Louisa says:

"I would like to say a special thank you to you Lynette. When you gave me that bundle of letters I had written to you, I thought they were a few Christmas cards I had sent.  I had no idea you had saved every letter I had ever written to you, going back to the first thank-you letter I wrote in 1993 when I wrote to thank you for loaning me some of your books to read (which I enjoyed reading very much, by the way). 

A big thank you to you both for opening your home to me when I was fresh from Vancouver when I believe I had only been in Victoria for three days.  What a treat it has been over these past twenty years (can you believe it?!) knowing you both and having the opportunity to meet Terry, as well.  And of course, getting to meet Miller."

To me, this is just another example reaching out to others and the heart-warming results.

(In stark comparison, I recall an acquaintance, who when selling her car, remarked proudly that no one had ever sat in its back seat!)

Close Connections - Chance Encounter

In my last blog, I mentioned the importance of reaching out to people.  A prime example is a great friendship that developed from a chance encounter.

Having seen the movie 'On Golden Pond' Ken and I decided to attend a 'live' theatre performance of the same production at the Belfry.  As we stood in line, I began chatting to the couple behind us.  They had only been in Victoria a short time, having moved here from Toronto.  The lady, Pat, had a half-sister living here but didn't know anyone else.  We seemed to be 'in tune' so I took the plunge and invited them both for afternoon tea the following week.  For some unknown reason, I baked eccles cakes, and when Pat's husband, Trevor, spotted what was on offer, he exclaimed "Eccles cakes are my absolute favorite!"

From that day onward, our friendship grew.  We introduced them to many of our friends and they soon made connections of their own.  We enjoyed a lovely reciprocal relationship - enjoying many dinners in each other's homes. 

Pat had been an army captain and she was extremely proud of this accomplishment.  She was used to being waited upon and had very strict rules such as believing that it should always be a man who carved the roast and poured the wine. She also couldn't stand to see a man carrying a plastic bag.  I, on the other hand, usually carved my own roasts and when necessary, poured the wine.  Pat belonged to many organizations - I belonged to none.  She was a member of the Horticultural Society - I liked to get down and dirty in my garden.  However - we soon discovered that we both loved scrabble and Pat became a member of my group of scrabble ladies.

Pat's husband, Trevor, was very involved with the Victoria Chamber of Commerce, so on his 75th birthday I made a cake and my clever sister-in-law decorated it with the appropriate phrase "We're glad you followed the birds to Victoria".  

Unfortunately, Trevor was suffering from cancer and he soon left us.

But, a few years later, Pat met another nice gentleman, a widower named Harvey.  They were perfect together and our mutual friendship continued to grow.

Sadly, neither Pat nor Trevor are with us any more, but it just goes to show that a chance encounter can forever enrich your life.

Happier Days

I am feeling very sad and a bit empty.  Our 'old' friends are dropping like flies.

We have such treasured memories of get-togethers with neighbours and friends. I can recall our living room being filled to capacity.

Our Dutch neighbours used to provide us with Indonesian food and our German neighbour often brought the most interesting dishes to our parties.  On New Year's Eve we all ventured outside to bang on pots and pans at midnight, having spent the evening together playing card games and guessing games. It sure was fun.

My advice to the present generation is to enjoy every moment.  Treasure your friends, don't put things off, seize the day!  Do not spend your time chasing money.  Life goes by so quickly.  Above all, capture it all on camera - memories tend to fade.

Don't be intimidated by so-called 'better' cooks.  Even if you offer a cup of coffee or tea, macaroni and cheese, meat loaf or a pizza - the whole idea is to open your door and your heart.

Don't mind me.  When you grow old, you can wear purple and speak what is in your heart.