OUT OF SIGHT - OUT OF MIND?

Guess what?  We are trying to downsize for the sake of the kids.  After 70 years of marriage and both of us liking to 'keep things', this is a big chore!

We started some time ago by deciding it was time to get rid of all of the Times Colonist Islander inserts we had kept for reference when Ken and I were both writing for the newspaper on a regular basis.  We advertised them as 'free' and some fellow 'collector' duly arrived and took them all away. 

Shortly thereafter, we recycled all the reel to reel and VHS tapes but I'm still holding on to some cassette tapes 'for review'.  All of our slides have gone 'bye-bye' and Mark made sure the important ones found their way onto DVD's.

That was the extent of our purging until a few years later when the kids decided we needed more wiggle room in our living room.  Mark took our two lovely rose coloured wing back chairs, plus one extra chair, to the Salvation Army.  As I witnessed them perched in the back of his truck as it chugged down the driveway I was overcome with sadness, remembering the many now deceased friends who had graced those chairs at various gatherings.  

Oh the parties we had and attended! 

I remember our friend, Pat, sitting in one of the wing backs, holding her empty glass high in the air above her head - indicating she was ready for a refill of rye....

More recently, my daughter and I tackled the bedroom closets.  First we dealt with Ken's suits.  They hung in a row, each one protectively shrouded in plastic, each one a memory - weddings, funerals.  

We tossed a number of pairs of shoes and dozens of ties.  I was reminded that Ken was one of the first in his Post Office group to begin wearing coloured shirts.  He always looked so smart!

Then it was my turn.  For years I have been guilty of ignoring my collection of high heels and purses.  Looking at them stirred up so many memories of gatherings happy and sad.  

My red heels came in handy to complete my 'Judy Garland Wizard of Oz' costume.  

My purple shoes and matching purse were really classy 

but my favorites were the beige heels.  They always made me feel very feminine as I knew I had nice legs.

Now I need to get in the mood to tackle the upstairs where all of our writing research materials are now sequestered and the attic...where more stuff lurks.  Bookcases beckon me.  I see books I've not yet read, others I might read again and still others I'd like to loan out.

I must admit it always feels good when one more thing has been dealt with.  Out of sight, out of mind.  I think...

EVOLUTION

My daughter has encouraged me to return to my blog.  

Several things have contributed to my absence.  I am kept very busy being a caregiver to my husband Ken, have had a couple of little strokes and developed angina.  But I kind of miss putting my thoughts on paper.  So - here goes!

Ken has edema in his feet and is required to wear very tight 'compression' stockings which are so snug that we need help in pulling them on.




A lady comes in each weekday morning to put his stockings on for him.  We have been blessed to have the same individual every day, and we have 'bonded'.  She is from Africa and is kind, considerate and caring. We enjoy many conversations about her home country, traditions and family.  She also washes up the dishes from the night before as well as our breakfast dishes and is on the premises when either Ken or I take a bath 'just in case'.  Fortunately, the compression stockings are quite easy to remove at the end of the day, so Ken and I are able to manage that ourselves.

We have a cleaner now - a charming girl who vacuums, dusts, etc.  She seems to enjoy chatting with us as much as we do with her.  

We also have a 'foot lady' who comes in on a regular basis to pamper our feet!

Our little corgi, Miller, who is 14 years old now, accepts all visitors with open paws, including the lady who recently came to provide some personal care for HIM (teeth cleaning and scaling).  

Miller is Ken's constant companion and will follow Ken and his walker anywhere!

I am still preparing all of our meals and baking and enjoy reading and my weekly scrabble games, though the number of my fellow scrabblers is sadly reduced.  Ken still spends hours on his computer and we both love our British television programs.

Life has...evolved.

A DAY TO REMEMBER

The day began with our smoke detector beeping intermittently.  Neither Ken nor I dare to climb on stools or ladders at our age, and our daughter Terry could not reach the detector even when she did stand on a stool! A neighbour (and friend) of Terry's did her best, but even though she could reach the alarm, it still presented too much of a challenge - not your average alarm, apparently. Our car repairman (who offers a mobile service and comes to the house with his van) also took a turn to solve the problem but he too gave up as he did not want to damage the alarm.

Ken always says that if you want a problem solved, go to the top! So, in desperation I called the Saanich Fire Department, stating immediately that there was no emergency.  I pulled the seniors' card, telling them that Ken is 94 and I am 90 - we needed help!

It worked, and in no time at all a fire truck arrived at the foot of the driveway and three stalwart firemen who were 'on call' strode up to the door, ready to help a couple of old folks. One of them gave a mighty twist to the smoke alarm and off came the cover.  

They changed the battery and were kind enough to pose for a photo.

Later that day while Terry and I were shopping, we had another fun encounter.  I was in search of a General Mills Company cereal.  A chap was restocking the shelves.  With my irrepressible sense of humour I asked "Are you General Mills?" Joining in the fun, he replied "No, I'm Corporal Punishment".

Meanwhile our little corgi, Miller, was enjoying a spa treatment - a very nice lady brings a mobile grooming van to our house and Miller is thoroughly combed, bathed and has his fluffy bits dealt with.  He comes out looking like a show dog.

But the day was not over yet - Terry had a surprise visit from a confused-looking young Chocolate Lab who tried to enter her patio door.  Luckily the dog wore a collar and tag with phone numbers.  We had to coax 'Grace' with many treats before she allowed Terry to attach a leash.

  

She was eventually returned to her owner and Terry was able to join us for lunch, scrabble and our regular Thursday 'family day'.

As we were finishing our second scrabble game, our car repairman knocked at the door to say he was finished.  We offered him a glass of wine which he gratefully accepted, and we ended up having a very enjoyable conversation with him.

It was a nice way to wind up a very busy but rewarding day.

THE CORNER STORE

Corner of Fairfield Road and Vancouver

In 1984, I wrote an article about corner stores.  Ken patiently drove around Victoria with me and took amazing photographs of the shops that were still operating as convenience stores at that time.  I hope you enjoy this look into Victoria's past:

Remember the corner store?  They were everywhere!  I mean the REAL corner store, with the ever-present cat curled up in the sunny window and the bell that sounded an inviting jingle announcing your entry.

Corner of Lillian and Fairfield

There are very few of these little gems remaining in Victoria, but I found some.  It is like stepping into the past as you turn the handle on an old wooden door and set foot onto the well worn floor.

Corner of Stanley Avenue & Begbie

The stores I discovered were, on the whole, small and cosy, but the smallest and no doubt the oldest, was at the corner of Government and Michigan Streets - it is literally a cracker box!

Corner of Government & Michigan

This little store was built in 1915 for Pete Metro.  This Greek gentleman arrived in Victoria in 1893.  He was the proprietor of the Maryland Cafe at 1225 Government Street.  The house that stands behind the Corner Confectionary was built in 1905.  The story goes that Mr. Metro felt sorry for a fellow who was unable to obtain work, so he employed him to build the store.  After its completion, the Metro family rented it out.

One of those tenants was a lady who sat in complete repose in the tiny balcony at the back of the store.  From this lofty vantage point she kept an eagle eye on all the customers. She just told people to help themselves and leave their money on the counter!

Merle Fraser operated the store for 21 years.  When she first opened for business, she could only afford to buy three of everything.  Someone would say 'I've just taken your last bottle of ketchup'.  Merle would chuckle and say 'Good, now I can buy three more'.

Most of Merle's business was on the charge system, as many of her customers were on welfare.  Once, when she attempted to collect a bad debt, an irate woman hit her on the head with a cane!  Often people moved houses without notice and she had the frustrating job of tracking them down to pay their bill.  She remembers a cheque that bounced - she managed to trace the chap to an out-of-town motel and then waited until he rolled out of a beer parlour to nab him.

The next time you have occasion to visit the nearest convenience store and push open the heavy glass door, to be greeted by a tangle of teenagers draped over a video machine, take a deep breath and remember - it wasn't always like this!

Corner of Finlayson & Highview

POOSESSION IS 9/10 OF THE LAW

I have another little story to relate regarding one of our twin grand-daughters, Heather, when she was tiny.  Heather was the smaller of the twins and was always determined to keep up with her sister.

One day, when all four grandparents were present, she accomplished a great feat.  Lindsay, her twin, had already dealt with the challenges of toilet training and was quite adept at the procedure.

Heather raced into the living room shouting 'Come! Come!' and began pulling us into the bathroom.  We all followed after her, but, alas, Miss Lindsay entered the bathroom first. With a professional flourish, she retrieved the potty, emptied the contents into the toilet and then, with a final theatrical display, flushed her sister's prize away!

Full of frustration and anger, Heather shouted 'Mine! Mine!' and burst into tears.

We adults hid our laughter and consoled our precious grand-daughter.

Now that Heather has a little one of her own, I am sure she will not mind me sharing this delightful tale with you!

TWIN TALES

Ken and I were extremely excited when we learned our daughter-in-law, Carol, was pregnant again and that this time it was to be twins!  Heather and Lindsay were born May 16, 1984.

It was sure fun watching them grow and witnessing how they bonded.  They had a special 'twin' language which sounded like 'gibberish' to us but they understood each other - one would often crawl or trot off only to return with some item the other had apparently ordered.  They didn't need any playmates, though they did have their 'big' sister, Colleen, who was only two but already in charge!

We tried to give Mark and Carol a break every so often.  Ken and I had the twins for a visit, or Colleen, separately, so that each child felt 'special'.

We took Heather to swings in a nearby park.  

Another time she rode around on a little pink bicycle we bought for her to enjoy.  We cycled together to the grounds of UVIC to feed the ducks.  

Another fun time was when Heather decorated herself in some of my old bracelets and necklaces.  We played catch in our pretty garden, which she loved to help water.  

And I know she really enjoyed helping to make banana splits for dessert.

Our visits with Lindsay were just as special.  She, too, loved playing on the swings at the park.  She had lots of fun (!) raking up oak leaves from our many trees, 

helping to pick apples from our transparent apple tree and then 'helping' me to make applesauce.  

The petting zoo at Beacon Hill Park was a favorite destination.

Once when the girls were older, we had both twins for a visit. I recall Heather (she was the reader) reading aloud to Lindsay as the pair of them sat in front of a cosy fire, Lindsay contentedly knitting or crochetting. The girls never did much 'hanging around' after school, they usually headed for home to do their homework together just enjoying each other's company.

Where has the time gone? We've seen both girls graduate from University and become competent, conscientious school teachers.  They've each married wonderful young men and become loving, caring mothers.  Heather and Adam will soon be parents to a baby brother for Oliver.

Lindsay and Mike adopted sweet baby James Mark and then to their delight found they were pregnant with adorable Juliette, born this past February.

Ken and I have had such a rewarding and full life.  We are blessed to have such wonderful memories and pictures to treasure.

SO YOU WANT TO BE GRANDPARENTS

For many years Ken and I anticipated joining the ranks of that grand army of grandparents.  Finally, with the birth of our first grandchild, Colleen, we were mobilised! We found, however, that there was a bit of basic training to undergo first.

For instance, the whole idea of disposable diapers was foreign to us. When I think of the hours I spent standing at my old wringer washer, I'm glad we didn't grow old together. Ken and I also had to get used to using those little wet clean-up cloths that pop out of a convenient dispenser - a neat idea.  We soon adjusted to the plastic nursing bottles with those ghastly looking deflated liners.

Our first encounter with a jolly jumper was a great experience.  What a marvelous invention. The baby can have great fun, at the same time exercising his or her leg muscles, and, better still, be within sight.  Our own offspring were popped into a playpen and spent their time gazing at the world through bars.

Not many babies these days seem to have buggies or prams, but, instead, are carried about snuggled up to their parents' bodies in 'snugglies'.  This contributes to a special bonding between parent and child which is important.

Most of the mothers in the 1950s fed baby and then out he went to the porch in his buggy for the prescribed four hours until the next feeding.  The fresh air was healthy and certainly conducive to sleep.  We mothers spent a good deal of time checking up on our precious bundles to see if they were still sleeping or to ensure that some large neighborhood cat had not decided to make itself comfortable and warm by sneaking into the confines of the pram.  These days one would certainly hesitate to leave a baby unattended in case a kidnapper was about.

Remember how some people trustingly left their baby and buggy outside a store while they shopped?  Today such a foolish act would be unthinkable.

In December 1986, when our first granddaughter was two years old, we volunteered to babysit for her for two weeks.

Our life suddenly changed.  Being retired, Ken and I had settled into a casual routine as far as meals were concerned, Breakfast was consumed at the kitchen nook with chit-chat about events, plans for the day, etc.  Lunch we shared with the cast of our favorite soap opera at the time, "All My Children". Dinner was usually washed down with the evening news, while comfortably seated in front of the television.  When the dishes were done, we either read or watched t.v. (preferably PBS) unless we were entertaining friends or out for the evening.

All this nonsense came to an abrupt halt.  One does not subject one's innocent grandchild to such depravity.  a good example must be set. Meals must be properly consumed at a table and interspersed with 'pleases' and 'thank-yous'. And a certain little person had to be convinced that grandma's homemade soup tasted good and must be eaten before any dessert would appear.

Like most two year olds, Colleen was just beginning to assert herself.  Having heard the word 'no' many times (!) she decided she would try it for herself.

We did our best to convince her that 'yes' was a much nicer word.  We did not wish to undermine the efforts of her mommy and daddy and therefore did our best not to spoil her but found it quite a challenge to keep on top of each new situation as it arose.

I had forgotten what it was like to have one's concentration broken by a little voice calling out "I have to go tinkle".  Flour had to be quickly rinsed off hands before we sped to the bathroom.

We had to come to terms with the complicated fastenings on the car safety seat, but after several trips to various friends to show off our little guest, we actually became quite adept.

We even had the precious gift of witnessing her first visit to Santa Claus.  She was all primed and looking forward to meeting the whiskered gentleman, when much to our chagrin, the little fellow in front of her became very apprehensive and began to cry.  This scene made her wonder if this Santa Claus business was all it was cracked up to be.  Upon being reassured, she did agree to visit him, but only at a safe distance.  None of this sitting on the knee stuff!

Bath time was stretched to the limit with fun and games in the tub.  Then, naked, our little charge would run with freedom and delight down the hall to the living room where Ken and I made a great fuss of drying her down in front of a cosy fire.  With her damp hair and cherubic silhouette she brought to life one of Paul Peel's famous paintings.

Then the challenge of the evening - bedtime - was upon us. We had forgtten just how much time we used to devote to this portion of the day, but it soon came back to us in full force.  Dolls and stuffed animals had to be rounded up and placed either side of her pillow, not forgetting that most important of items - the security blanket!

Next was story time, swiftly followed by pleading for yet another story.

Jst as we figured we had everything under control and could sneak off and watch the last half of a National Geographic special, our little angel thought of yet another delaying tactic.  A request for a drink of water was usually followed by the popular 'blow out the light' ceremony. It was difficult to understand how one little person could delay the inevitable, while by now, Ken and I were so looking forward to it!

We had a delightful and rewarding two weeks with this compact little bundle of energy.  We enjoyed walks to the swings in the play park, hide and seek in the house, make believe picnics, and decorated Christmas cookies. 

But most of all we enjoyed hugs and kisses when she crawled into our bed in the mornings.

We typed out a complete diary of her stay with us which we placed in a photo album together with pictures recording all her activities while she was with us.  Something we hope she will treasure in the future.

The day Colleen left she put her arms around her grand-dad and said "Don't be sad Grampa"  Little did she know we had mixed feelings!  The house would seem very empty without our little princess, but it would be good to get back into our comfortable rut.  As busy a time as that was, however, it was a walk in the park compared to the time we babysat the twins - but that deserves a post all of its own!